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Frustrated

I feel like I’m in such a rush to grow up and I don’t know how to turn it off. I want to enjoy the moment, I want to be happy with what I have. I want to count my blessings and be satisfied. I want what I have right here, right now, to be enough. Somehow it isn’t. I have a great fucking life and I feel like a spoiled brat when it isn’t enough but it isn’t. I want to make it stop. I want to stop thinking about how good I have it and then thinking “but wouldn’t it be great if I just had *insert whatever stupid fantasy here*”. It’s so silly. Blah. People’s lives are taking off and people are getting great jobs, interviews, going to new schools, applying for great programs, getting engaged, getting married, buying houses, buying new cars and in seeing all of this and in doing none of that my life feels so mediocre. 

My boyfriend is wonderful. He’s really and truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. He came to me at a time when I felt lost, similar to how I’m feeling right now, and he gave me direction. I feel like I have a purpose with him. He’s so great! Since meeting him my grades are up, my goals seem attainable and I’m overall happier. However, the way I’m feeling right now, I don’t deserve him. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who. he thinks is great but cannot for the life of her, see it herself. It must be so frustrating for him. I’m frustrated with myself right now. Like dude, you know you have a great life just be happy jeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Things could be so much worse. Why can’t you just be happy knowing that alone?

I think it’s because I’m arrogant and self-righteous. I have no right to be, but I know that I am those things. I truly believe that I deserve better LOL how silly right? I want the kind of life where I can make money without having to work in a factory anymore, where I make enough money to get my own place and make it comfortable, where I have enough money to spoil my boyfriend and family and friends- they all deserve it! My dad has no problem giving me money and it’s wonderful. It just feels so embarassing to be at this age and still have to ask for money to go out. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it or anything it just makes me feel so juvenile and I hate that. I know I need to be patient and I know that eventually my time will come. I just want it to be here now! Lol I’m such a brat. Anyway that’s my rant for now. I kinda sorta hope no one reads this but I kinda sorta hope everyone reads is too. I don’t know what I want. 

Get your ish together people

Society pisses me right off sometimes. I’m tired of seeing this bs “advice” all over the internet. You lonely fxck, get up and do something with your life please. I’m tired of seeing tweets, statuses and whatever else you can do on the internet talking bout “if they leave their bf/gf for you, they’ll leave you for someone else just as easily.” So what if they do? Move on, EVERYONE has the potential to screw you over. That’s like saying “When he was 5 years old, he drew on the walls, that means he’s gonna tag your garage so bxtch watch out!” Different circumstances call for different actions. If you’re not married to someone, you’re unsatisfied and someone better comes along, why shouldn’t you leave?! Just because you got left this way does not condone you to be bitter and throw your sadness at people in the form of “advice”. You bitter, deceitful, jealous creature. Stop polluting people’s minds. And a note to those whose minds are easily polluted. SERIOUSLY?! You’re listening to this garbage? You know for damn sure at the end of the day you’re not going to do anything other than what you please, so why are you running to people who tell you stuff like this? Then you nodd and say “omg that’s so true, like, I never thought of it that way.” You then proceed to turn around, do the opposite of what was “so true” and carry on your merry way. You may get screwed over and, who knows, you may live happily ever after, I don’t care. The point is, don’t run to a thousand people, waiting for someone to tell you what you wanted to hear. Just do you. This is getting mad long, and I’m not anywhere close to being finished so seriously if you’re still reading and you’re not feeling this STOP! I am not holding a gun to your head saying “READ EVERY WORD OUT LOUD BEFORE I BUSS A CAP UP YO ASS!” It’s really not that serious. Anyway you have those bitter people spitting foolishness but it doesn’t stop there. “If he cheats with you, better believe he’s gonna cheat on you.” BULLSHXT! Sluts and hos can become wifeys/hubbies if they find the person with changing for. This applies to males and females. A man will man up if he thinks you’re worth changing for. Now keep in mind, this is all his perspective. It has nothing to do with what you think of yourself. It has nothing to do with you PERIOD! It’s all his/her choice. If they want to cheat, they WILL, regardless of how awesome you, your friends, your mom and your dog think you are. It doesn’t matter that you have a good job, give them space but show them the right amount of affection. It doesn’t matter that your sex is off the chain. It most definitely doesn’t matter if you’re the most physically attractive person on the planet. If a person wants to cheat, THEY WILL!! Get that through your head. People can change their habits, mannerisms and clothes. All people can change to a certain extent so don’t give me that garbage. THEN after telling you these two things, society wants to push “don’t settle.” Now, I don’t advise anyone to settle. That’s messed up but at the end of the day you’re the one who has to judge whether you’re settling or not. Not your friends, family or followers on social media sites. Those people don’t want all the same things for you thaqt you want for yourself. Their opinions can matter, but at the end of the day you are making that decision. There is no such thing as a perfect person. There isn’t, so if you walk away from every person you’ve ever been with over petty disagreements claiming “I refuse to settle” you are a cunt. Work things out like an adult, and if you’re not willing to do that, who told you to get into a relationship in the first place? Unless you establish that things are not serious and it’s mutually understood that you will both act as cunts, you are expected to carry on as a decent human being. Don’t be a cunt. So recap, you shouldn’t listen to society because they tell you not to leave your boyfriend/girlfriend easily, especially if someone better comes along. Then they tell you not to settle. On top of this, society tells you that cheating is wrong. I hope you’re able to see the problems here. If not, jump off a bridge or something because you’re fxcked. If you’re in a relationship and someone better comes along, go for it IF YOU WANT TO. If you’re in a relationship with someone and you think you can do better, leave IF YOU WANT TO. If you are with someone who is important to you in spite of everyone telling you “they ain’t shxt”, stay, IF YOU WANT TO. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, ON AVERAGE NOBODY CARES! And dear society, go suck yuh mumma! Telling people a whole heap of mess. Assholes. Making people like Rihanna famous. CUNTS! Thug life tattoo, lawd fawda poor Tupac in his grave. I hope he comes back and haunts the fxck out of her. If you actually read all of this, you deserve a reward lol. =)

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